If you’d asked me a couple of months ago how it might be possible to make The Kid Laroi’s already teeth-grindingly awful 'Without You' even worse, it would have taken some serious thought. Now, to be frank, I think it’s the kind of topic you can’t un-ponder, but assuming I’d willingly been that cavalier about soiling my own neurons, I reckon the idea of a cross-promotional ‘remix’ with some credibility-free Stateside popstress would have been pretty high up on my List Of Shame. So it’s genuinely soul-torturing to discover that this hideous fever-dream has actually spawned a nightmarish reality.

And it’s no less lazily cynical that I’d have expected. Miley’s vocal contributions sound like they took about two-thirds of her coffee break, leaving her plenty of time for the cinnamon Danish she’d actually been reserving her enthusiasm for. The Kid’s added just a handful of tempo-delayed ad libs, including (with crushing inevitability) a reiteration of that gosh-how-rude word at 0:37. Oh, and it’s a bit louder, with pretty minimal remixing besides – mostly just a bit more of the pad sounds and reverbs in the balance, as far as I can hear. At least there’s not a piss-poor new video. Er, hang on…

Please, please, please can someone now do a chipmunked Eurotrance version? I’ve got a hellish bingo card to finish up!